I got chris browned last night
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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