OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Randomize