i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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