Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
