even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
