ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
