ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
