Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night