Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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