i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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