Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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