Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
