You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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