were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
