did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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