I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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