So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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