Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize