I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm jealous of your bromance
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He better not be in your backpack
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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