Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
