I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
