Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
