His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
