garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
