I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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