He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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