i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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