Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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