you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
