grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
