I met the friendliest cop last night
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
