You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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