Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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