there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
whose ass print is on the piano?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
