New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize