i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
