And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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