Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
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My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just want to make out with him forever
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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