Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize