No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
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In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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