My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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