Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
