I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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