At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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