I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
