you guys were way drunker than both of me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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