i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude i'm inner monologue high
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
