Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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