Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
