the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?