I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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