i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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