On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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