All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
