The maid of honor just puked.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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