Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
