I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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