I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
