I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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