YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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