UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Of course I have a pirate flag
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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