I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
