pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
