Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
